Tamára Lunardo

Author & Editor



March 2012



A Letter to My Rapist

Written by , Posted in faith, life

As I’ve been reading, re-reading, editing, and deliberating over a throng of submissions for What a Woman is Worth, I’ve held up. Mostly. For every heartbreaking essay, there is one that heals, and I am grateful and hopeful for the good each will do.

But a good friend pointed out that maybe I might be getting a little immersed in the mire, and she didn’t want me to get stuck.

So I wrote a letter that all this emotional book work inspired, a letter that was far more important to write than it would be to send, and I am sharing it for my monthly contribution to A Deeper Story today. I want you to be warned about the backdrop of the post, but it’s not a post that ought to get any of us stuck. Because more– much more– than being about rape, it’s about forgiveness. And that’s the most freeing thing I know.

I understand if you can’t, but I’d love if you would read today’s post at A Deeper Story.

  • http://aweirdthing.wordpress.com Neil Chappell

    This is just amazing, Tamara. You will touch so many lives with your grace and spirit. God bless you.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Thank you, Neil. He certainly does.

  • leeleegirl4

    What a powerful post. Thanks for writing.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Thanks so much for reading.

  • http://www.lifebeforethebucket.com Adrian W.

    Wow. Tamara. Thanks for setting an example for us in forgiveness and love. I know it’s not easy, and it’s not nearly as “neat” as a blog post would imply, but I admire your courage.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Thank you, Adrian.

  • http://rivenrod.wordpress.com Rivenrod

    Hard to like, here.

    Me, I haven’t finished walking the road. Not yet.


    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I haven’t either. But let’s keep going. Let’s keep going.

  • http://joycannis.wordpress.com Joy

    Powerful stuff right there, my friend.
    Blessings and Light to you!

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Thank you, Joy. Same to you, truly.

  • http://up2randomthoughts.wordpress.com Phil

    From the deepest pit of despair and tragic circumstances, there is where an act of grace can lift up not only the victim, but those bearing witness to it all. So very difficult to understand and relate, borderline incomprehensible in fact, but then again, so is the mystery of grace under fire and most deplorable of circumstances. Thank you for sharing that moment of grace – most difficult, yet uplifting to the soul.


    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I’ve been blessed to see it uplifting “those bearing witness to it all” all day. Mysterious and powerful, grace.

  • http://rasjacobson.com Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson

    And you KNOW this is my story, right?

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I know, my friend. I had you in my heart when I wrote it. xo

  • http://biggerinreallife.com/ Christy A.

    I just sent this on to a friend that I think really needs it. Thank you for writing it.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I hope it will help even a little. Thank you for loving your friend that way.

  • http://transitioningmom.wordpress.com Transitioning Mom

    That letter could have come from my pen, and yet, I felt a new call to forgive the man that raped me. Thank you for this.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I’m sorry you’ve been there. Blessings as you answer that call.

  • http://twitter.com/LisaColonDelay Lisa Colón DeLay (@LisaColonDelay)

    hit me like a megaton of bricks

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara


  • http://susanwritesprecise.com SusanWritesPrecise

    Thank you for this post. I have learned from it.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I’m glad, Susan, thanks.

  • http://asoulswalk.wordpress.com asoulwalker

    It made me think about letters I could never write…

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      I never would have written this one ten years ago, you know? It’s just time and grace on repeat, til eventually “never” surprises you with “now.”

      • http://asoulswalk.wordpress.com asoulwalker

        That sounds nice.

  • http://michaelrpalmer.wordpress.com Michael Palmer

    This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to write this letter. May others find freedom through forgiveness (me included, too!) and encouragement through this letter.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Thanks, Michael. That’s my prayer, too.

  • http://symonefowler.wordpress.com SymoneF

    Thank you for this post.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      Symone, you are very welcome.

  • http://myheartonaplatter.wordpress.com Anya

    Thank you for sharing Tamara.

    • http://tamaraoutloud.com/ Tamara

      You’re welcome, Anya.

  • http://efchristi.wordpress.com efchristi

    What a beautiful woman you are to forgive the person who attacked your person. You are truly a blessed person!

    Walk daily with God at your side.


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