Tamára Lunardo

Author & Editor

humor Archive

Thursday

9

April 2015

6

COMMENTS

Thursday

21

November 2013

5

COMMENTS

Monday

1

April 2013

30

COMMENTS

Cookies & Cleavage: Easter with My Mom

Written by , Posted in humor, life

This is the kind of family I come from: On Good Friday we dress subduedly for service, cry, and meditatively discuss with each other the Stations of the Cross; on Easter Sunday we dress our brightly best for service, jubilantly sing “Christ the Lord is Risen Today,” and feast with extended family. But on Holy Saturday, or Easter Eve, or, perhaps solely in the case of my family, Unholy Saturday, our cups runneth right on over, we go way the hell off-color, and, somehow, we get ready for the next day’s celebration. And I love my family and my time […]

Thursday

29

November 2012

32

COMMENTS

She’s Got Electric Boobs: On Songwriting

Written by , Posted in humor, life, writing

The first song I ever wrote was about Barbie. My dad helped me pluck the notes from the piano and drop them into notation on a tan piece of construction paper. I remember neither the music nor the lyrics now– I’m sure some rummaging through the dusty boxes my mom collected of every piece of artwork I ever produced could turn up that old, faded paper, but it would hardly be worth the allergy attack. I think there was mention of her boots. (It could have been boobs.) What I do remember about the Barbie song was that it was […]

Tuesday

14

August 2012

32

COMMENTS

KIT or Else: Making Good on Yearbook Promises

Written by , Posted in humor, life

I came across my high school yearbooks the other day and immediately became immersed in scrawled tales of teenage shenanigans, cryptic symbols, inside jokes to which I am now firmly an outsider, and a dash of my own vanity. And, of course, there was much ado about “loving always” and “forever friendship.” So, in the spirit of “KIT,” I’ve decided to respond to some of those notes now. Because when you ask me to keep in touch, I’ll do it, even if I procrastinate for 14 years. (But I bet you knew that because we’re BFFs.) Tamára, Through the years […]

Friday

29

June 2012

25

COMMENTS

Making Out with Gay Guys

Written by , Posted in faith, humor, life

“Yes, the whole study center did hear about your making out with gay people,” he said. “Gay guys,” I clarified. “Well, I didn’t want to make any assumptions…” “I suppose that’s fair.” I had been using the Christian Study Center’s tranquil space to work on my book for several weeks, and working so closely with people’s heartbreaking stories had been taking its toll. So when, stuck inside my own head to rehash my history, I stumbled across the odd fact that I’d dated fully three gay guys as a teenager, all I could do was laugh out loud in wonderment […]

Monday

4

June 2012

68

COMMENTS

Dear Thong: A Break-up Letter

Written by , Posted in humor, life

Dear Thong, I think we both know this has been a long time coming. I tried to love you; I really did. But– and I know this is harsh– I really don’t even like you at all. And it’s not me; it’s you. I tried for years to pretend things were okay with us– I went about my business, usually with other undergarments, and you turned a blind eye, keeping to yourself in the back of the underwear drawer. But we were never really okay, were we? Sure, I’d turn to you when I felt like the occasion really called for […]

Thursday

29

March 2012

55

COMMENTS

I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane if I Don’t Totally Freak Myself Out

Written by , Posted in humor, life

It’s been a crazy few weeks, what with all my drowning in What a Woman is Worth submissions and off-and-on panic attacks about giving my first-ever talk at the Killer Tribes Conference this weekend. Don’t get me wrong– I am so excited about what I can see this book shaping up to be, and I’m thrilled to have the opportunity at the conference to share my thoughts on being a niche writer. It’s just that I’m pretty much dying of a combination of anxiety and my own ridiculousness, fueled in equal parts by procrastination and perfectionism. My friend Sarah says […]

Friday

27

January 2012

60

COMMENTS

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Pregnant

Written by , Posted in humor

Every so often I share on Twitter or Facebook the ridiculous/hilarious/wildly inappropriate search terms people use that land them at TOL, and sometimes I even take a stab at answering the inquiries. But I’ve got a lot to do right now, so today I thought I’d just let the search terms talk among themselves: what’s tamara up to? harvard porn for women sexy men folding laundry. if i say it out loud in faith will she marry me? nerds are cool and make good husbands. i want to start running for exercise, will that be a sin? check out tamara’s ass. (zumba littlemore […]

Tuesday

3

January 2012

146

COMMENTS

I’ve Never

Written by , Posted in humor, life

In the semester of college before I got knocked up, my roommates and I liked to play a popular drinking game called “I’ve Never.” We’d go around the room and say something we’d never done; anyone who had done it had to take a sip. It was a chance to force your friends to tattle on themselves, to dig up dirt, to have a laugh, and, mostly, to get drunk off your ass. Probably no one who reads this blog with any frequency is surprised to learn I played this game; perhaps you’re not even surprised I talked my parents […]

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