Tamára Lunardo

Author & Editor

Thursday

19

February 2015

31

COMMENTS

Here Come the Brides! How We Knew & What We Do

Written by , Posted in life

This is the second post in the “Here Come the Brides!” series, following my adventures with Casey to the aisle. If you missed it, the story of how we met is here.

Today’s post is about how we knew this relationships was The One and what we love to do together when we’re not busy living life with our beautiful family.

Bouncer at the punk show offered us PBR and said we looked like one on account of our colors. Who takes "you look like a PBR" as a compliment?! THESE CHICKS.

Bouncer at the show offered us PBR and said we looked like one on account of our colors. Who takes “you look like a cheap beer” as a compliment?! THESE CHICKS.

How we knew this relationship was The One

We are each other’s best: Friend, lover, partner, spiritual mate, support.

We have disagreements and arguments, especially during stressful times, but we have committed to fighting alongside—not against—each other for our relationship in those moments. And that has been tested and proved through some incredibly difficult times, including the finalization of my divorce, her coming out to her parents, and my loss of employment.

But it’s not just those moments of getting through hard spots that assure us this is different from any of our previous relationships; it’s the everyday moments. When we are together, we feel a peace and a wholeness that never existed before for either of us.

How we enjoy spending time together

We just love to hang out together. We consider each other our best possible company.

We love to stroll outside, especially at the beach. We have lots of fun antique browsing, particularly when we’re picking up cute candlesticks for our reception. (Think, vintage romance!)

We’re equally as happy at a wine bar or a dive bar. We love to take our time eating at restaurants, savoring every course and the time with each other.

We have a few favorite TV shows, which we will watch whole seasons of cuddled on the couch. Some our best go-to’s have been The L Word, Downton Abbey, True Blood, Boardwalk Empire, and Transparent. (We <3 u, Netflix and Amazon Prime.)

We always have a great time at music shows—some favorites have been The Avett Brothers, Tegan and Sara, and the whole punk Fest weekend in Gainesville. Our dream concert would be Patsy Cline (sweet dreams, amirite?). And we are so psyched that our favorite local band, The Ones To Blame, will be playing for our wedding and reception!

Coming next: Here Come the Brides! The Engagement(s)

How did you know your relationship was The One? What TV series are you into right now?

 

  • Casey

    I totally forgot about that bartender. A. Looking like PBR is a total compliment. B. I probably forgot about her because she gave us multiple shots right after that photo.
    I love our story.
    I love how we work things out.
    I love our friendship.
    You is da bess.
    I am not a writer.
    Love,
    Casey

    • TamaraOutLoud

      Babe, I love you, but you are drunk. Or at least you clearly were. You’ve conflated two stories. That photo was at Durty Nelly’s, where the bouncer said we looked like PBR. The bartender who was giving us shots was in… St. Augustine? I forget. I was definitely drunk. :-/

      • Casey

        Right. You win as usual (secret to relationship success).

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  • Alise

    I knew my relationship was “the one” way before I KNEW. When we had been friends for a little less than a year, it looked like he was going to take a job in another town. He called and we talked about it for a while, and when we got off the phone, I sobbed at the idea of him moving. I chalked it up to my previous best friend moving not a year before, but yeah. That was one of many clues that this person meant way, way more to me than I let on.

    That, and we were best friends for real, not best friends like the kind of best friend you have to shoe-horn your spouse into. (And that starts to piss me off about the way that things were presented to me for so long, so I’m just going to enjoy that I’m now married to my real life best friend, who I am with almost constantly and am still not even a little bit sick of that.)

    • TamaraOutLoud

      I know it’s been a hell of a journey for you to get there. I’m so happy you are married to your for-real best friend.

  • http://www.redemptionpictures.com/ Micah J. Murray

    If somebody told be I looked like PBR, I’d be like “HELL YES!”

    • TamaraOutLoud

      Right?! So basically you’re saying I’m cool, refreshing, a little old-school, and unassuming? Cheers!

  • fernando

    Lately I don’t see you writing about Jesus Christ, lately you only write about drinking and bartenders. I think that you changed the gold for silver. I wish you the best.

    • TamaraOutLoud

      This blog has always been about real life and real faith, and it continues to be, even as my life and faith have gone through seasons of change. My single comment about drinking and bartenders is a lighthearted exchange between my fiancee and me; that is real life.

      And much as I like to think you don’t have any affect on my life anymore, I was pretty beside myself to read your comment—not so much the condemnation, but its coating of hypocrisy. I felt tremendous hurt-fueled anger, and I wanted to come on here and cut you down with all the biting words I felt you deserved. But then you would be right: I would not be writing about Jesus Christ anymore.

      So this real faith: I forgive you. I forgive you for your momentary unkindness here, and I forgive you for the lifetime of hurt you have inflicted on me. Please understand, my forgiveness is a relinquishment, not an invitation. To keep my heart safe, I am going to block your privilege to comment here. You will still be free to see my life and faith unfold from a distance, as you have chosen.

      Fernando, I wish you the best, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

      • Jade Perry

        Your response… for the WIN!

        • TamaraOutLoud

          Thanks for the support, Jade. That sucked. Haha.

      • Julie

        Kudos to you for responding with grace, clarity, amd truth. I am proud of you, Tamara.

        • TamaraOutLoud

          Thank you, Mum. You showed me first. xo

          • Julie

            ❤️

    • http://allmydeamsarejellybeans.blogspot.co.uk/ Hannah Out Loud

      Hi

      Perhaps God is a pub landlord ?(okay I just watched the last episode of quantum leap).

      Funny that whilst I’m not a Christian I do recall, from school assembly, that Jesus turned water into wine? And as I remember from that account they said they’d saved the best till last. Perhaps there’s a lesson there?

      • TamaraOutLoud

        I love that, Hannah. Thank you. 🙂

  • George Lunardo

    I like beer! Not a huge fan of PBR, but any port in a storm, right? Benjamin Franklin said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” I might say something similar about you two.
    Love,
    UG

    • TamaraOutLoud

      This makes me very happy. Thank you. <3

  • http://allmydeamsarejellybeans.blogspot.co.uk/ Hannah Out Loud

    Hi Tamara

    Cool. I had to Google “PBR” though (:

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  • Emily Wilkins

    Love this story, Tamara.
    PBR is best on the rocks! Try it on a hot summer day, you’ll agree!

    • TamaraOutLoud

      Thank you, Emily! Perhaps a hot summer day in NC? Can’t wait to meet you– Casey has told me how wonderful you are!

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  • http://KelseyMunger.com/ Kelsey L. Munger

    I knew my husband was the one when I realized not only how well he really truly got me but how I felt like I could be a part of me that I usually keep out of sight, and that this was true for him as well.

    We got engaged sitting at a park by the water reading a book about African American stereotypes in film. I asked him where he was at with thinking about marriage and he said that he had decided for sure but didn’t want me to feel pressured, so he was waiting for me to decide. And I told him that I had been waiting for him to decided and trying not to pressure him. I asked, “Does this mean we’re engaged?” and he said smiling “I think so.”

    • TamaraOutLoud

      Haha that is such a sweet, simple engagement so full of respect for each other! I get what you mean, too, about being your full selves with each other– that’s a gift.

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