Here Come the Brides! How We Met
I feel like I talk about her all the time, but in case you missed the news: Casey and I are engaged! We will be getting [legally!!!] married in October at a beautiful bed and breakfast in our town.
By the time we get married, we will have been together for two years, but it already feels like we’ve known each other forever. I’d love for you to get to know us as a couple too, so I’ll be sharing our story up through our wedding in a new series of posts called Here Come the Brides!
This is the story of how we met.
It took me a while to figure out my sexuality– I didn’t come out until I was 33, and that was after a huge personal struggle that included depression and a tumultuous marriage to a man. I have five beautiful children from that previous marriage, so when I started dating again, I came with a BIG package deal. I knew I would need to look for a woman who was open to having a family that she didn’t birth herself, which isn’t always so easy to find.
My faith is also incredibly important to me, and I wondered how I would ever find another Christian lesbian– if gay people are unicorns, gay Christian people are the rarest of the breed. So when I met Casey, a pediatric nurse practitioner who loves Jesus, I found an absolute treasure.
Casey is a fascinating product of her upbringing and her own self-determination. She was raised Baptist in a small North Carolina farm town, and she remembers sitting in church as a child, terrified because she knew she was “different.” But although her southern gentility is never far from her lips– her accented “yes ma’am” melts my heart– neither are her progressive opinions and questioning of the status quo. Casey is comfortable in her own skin, and it’s beautiful.
How we met
After prodding from friends, we each gave in and signed up for Match.com– but only because we had a Groupon making it extra cheap. We didn’t think we’d find much more than a few people to chat with, but we found each other.
When I read Casey’s profile, I was intimidated– she was obviously super smart. But instead of some of the questionable-type photos people use on dating sites, hers were of her cuddling a dog and putting her arm around her grandma, so I decided to reach out to this brilliant and sweet girl.
Casey says that when she got my message, she was excited– not just because she thought I was cute but because she could tell I was articulate. (You should have seen some of the “wuz up” messages we’d both gotten before.) So we started messaging and hit it off, and after just a few messages back and forth, Casey went for it and asked me on a date. Of course I said yes!
First date and impressions
We met at a local bar/lounge, and of course I was late because I was agonizing over the perfect outfit. She was afraid I’d stood her up, but fortunately she stayed just long enough– and when I arrived, she says my smile made her forget to be mad. (I still employ this trick from time to time.)
Casey ordered me my first ever gin and tonic (which became a favorite– we’re serving them at our wedding as the signature drink!), and I loved that this smart, funny woman was treating me like a lady. I was upfront with her about my past marriage and my plethora of children , and it didn’t scare her away– in fact, that kind of honesty between us has become a sacred staple of our relationship.
We were immediately at ease with each other, and we loved talking to each other so much that our first date lasted about 7 hours. After that, we knew we had to be together– and we have been.