Tamara Out Loud

grace Archive

Thursday

15

March 2012

32

COMMENTS

A Letter to My Rapist

Written by , Posted in faith, life

As I’ve been reading, re-reading, editing, and deliberating over a throng of submissions for What a Woman is Worth, I’ve held up. Mostly. For every heartbreaking essay, there is one that heals, and I am grateful and hopeful for the good each will do. But a good friend pointed out that maybe I might be getting a little immersed in the mire, and she didn’t want me to get stuck. So I wrote a letter that all this emotional book work inspired, a letter that was far more important to write than it would be to send, and I am […]

Wednesday

22

February 2012

10

COMMENTS

Open the Door and See All the People

Written by , Posted in faith, life

“Here is the church,” I laced my fingers together and hid them between closed palms. “Here is the steeple,” I shot my pointer fingers up and touched the tips together. “Open the door and see all the people,” I swung apart my thumbs and wiggled my entwined fingers. And this last was always my favorite part, the funny church members all wobbly and stuck together. My fingers have grown since those days, but I still like to use them to remind myself of what makes up the Church. For all the division and frustration, for all the disillusionment and hurt, […]

Tuesday

17

January 2012

7

COMMENTS

The Pharisees Are Not Dead

Written by , Posted in faith, poetry

“Your very adamant message Is grace, grace, grace.” I take it as a compliment Of the highest order, “If I’m to err, I pray it will be On the side of adamant grace.” The study has seemed pretty easy, All of us scholars, Seeking Theo through logos. The commentators say, “The Pharisees are not dead.” And I think, “Sure– I see them all around, Preaching doctrine, Teaching standards, Guarding long-held ways.” (continued) *** Please continue reading today’s post at A Deeper Story!

Monday

10

October 2011

57

COMMENTS

Grace for the Everyday

Written by , Posted in faith, life

I write about grace a lot. Probably because I think about it a lot. Probably because I need it a lot. When I catch even a hint of a suggestion that someone wants to place limits on grace, I am all intensity and vehemence. I think that those of us who have felt most deeply our need of grace are usually the ones most ready to defend its depth and breadth, its transcendence and permanence. But I wonder: Do I actually, practically give grace a lot? I have all sorts of philosophical grace for people who have done terrible wrongs […]

Tuesday

30

August 2011

83

COMMENTS

Audacious Grace

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

I’d been wanting to write for the People of the Second Chance “Never Beyond” poster series on grace, but I was waiting for the right figure’s inspiration. Casey Anthony, Mike Tyson, and Darth Vader are salient examples of second-chance needers, but I was looking for someone I could relate to a little more. Maybe a Hester Prynne type– someone who wasn’t readily acceptable in church circles but who hadn’t really hurt anyone with their most recognizable brand of sin. And then these words hit me hard and deep: We all haunt someone’s grace limit. Who could put up your poster […]

Monday

22

August 2011

7

COMMENTS

We Remain, We Are Remembered

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

The songwriter dreams desperately: On the very day I die The very last of my desires Is that you take my broken body And commit it to the fire And then when the fire is finished Scrape the ashes in a tin Take them down to London’s drinking reservoirs And throw them in And then specks infinitesimal of my mortal remains Will slide down seven million throats and into seven million veins And I will creep through their capillaries to the marrow of their bones And they will wake to bright new mornings and then wordlessly they’ll know That I […]

Monday

27

June 2011

18

COMMENTS

The Gift of Your Beginning

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

This is your story, Baby Boy. I sometimes wish I could re-write your beginning, start it farther in the future, when your mama wasn’t a scared girl and your daddy wasn’t just a kid trying to do the right thing. But life doesn’t give you re-writes; it only lets you keep telling the stories you’ve got and offering fresh pages. And if you read through the eyes of grace, you’ll get to see that it’s not just the fresh pages that are the gift. This is the story I’ve got. *** Please visit A Deeper Story to continue reading.

Tuesday

7

June 2011

55

COMMENTS

But for the Grace of God: My Life as a Would-Be Call-Girl

Written by , Posted in faith, humor, life, Uncategorized

My husband closed his book and looked at me with a smile in his eyes. “This section about a high-end prostitute reminds me of you.” Perhaps most wives would bear a hint of offense, but not I. I figured it was probably a fair assessment– I just wanted to know exactly why. “Because she likes boys and she likes sex.” Well. Presumably most call-girls do. But evidently these were the only two reasons she began turning her pricey tricks in the first place. Not destitution, not drugs– just a certain fondness for boys and sex. And, man, did those hobbies […]

Thursday

28

April 2011

8

COMMENTS

We are the Queer. We are the Whore.

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

If you have no inclination to hear punk music or to consider the realities of a screwed up nation, then I cannot recommend against NOFX’s The Decline EP strongly enough– it would be far too jolting. But should you hazard a listen, you will be rocked hard for 18 minutes and 20 seconds.  And what may rock you hardest is hearing this: We are the Queer. We are the Whore. *** I’m thrilled to be contributing my first post at A Deeper Story today. To continue reading, please click here. And, friends, it’s scary bringing words like these with you […]

Monday

25

April 2011

64

COMMENTS

Random Crap I Learned While Trying Unsuccessfully to Be Good

Written by , Posted in faith, life

I’m not sure what exactly Lent is supposed to feel like, but it felt to me like holding my breath for 40 days– and, somehow having survived, I am relieved to finally exhale. At the onset of the season, I wrote about my high hopes for spiritual growth, but only about a week in it became clear that my monumental personal deficiencies were going to get in the way. So you’ll understand if the following is not the most sublimely spiritual synthesis; it’s more like Random Crap I Learned While Trying Unsuccessfully to Be Good. 1. I am unfaithful. I […]