Tamara Out Loud

hope Archive

Monday

19

December 2011

50

COMMENTS

Every New Christmas

Written by , Posted in faith, life

TOL’s 12 Gifts of Christmas! Gifts 9 and 10 are up for grabs today! Because my actual story is posted in full at A Deeper Story, things will go a little differently than they have with the previous gifts: To throw your name in the hat, leave a comment on this post right here. To leave a comment without playing, please visit A Deeper Story and join the discussion there. I’ll announce the recipients tomorrow evening. Regular Gift: You interview me for your blog. White Elephant Gift: I send you the infamous Hot Stuff sign, personalized as I see fit. […]

Wednesday

16

November 2011

4

COMMENTS

A Church Where I Want to Stay

Written by , Posted in faith, life

I’ve lately begun to suspect that the Church is not wholly bent on my sweeping displeasure and total alienation. To be sure, it has done a fine job of putting me off in the ways of particular denominational doctrine, and it has lent handily to my exasperation at church-lady culture. But lately it has missed the piss-me-off mark: In my church last week a woman served communion. *** Please continue reading today’s post at A Deeper Story!

Friday

23

September 2011

47

COMMENTS

What We’re Worth: A Community Collection

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized, writing

Since I published my original post, “What’s a Girl Worth?“, and called for community responses to the issues it raised of worth and doubt, people have been test-touching and wincing at memories, wrestling emotions into prose, braving bare exposure, and still, somehow, finding the buoyancy to reach out to encourage others to do the very same, very difficult things. I can’t help but believe the outcome will be marvelous. If you are contributing to this community collection, I hope the writing of your story brought you catharsis or conviction. If you have ever doubted your worth, I hope you will […]

Monday

12

September 2011

124

COMMENTS

Twenty-Four Inches to Choose Truth

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

It came on out of nowhere, a small thing turned big, a feeling– normally dismissed– now wielding supernatural strength. It claimed hold; it held tight. First the anger, then the sadness, tired beyond tired, done. Submerged, suffocated. Me. *** My depression sprung up on Saturday, and it didn’t care that the next day I had to sing. And not just sing– lead. Lead worship.

Monday

22

August 2011

7

COMMENTS

We Remain, We Are Remembered

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

The songwriter dreams desperately: On the very day I die The very last of my desires Is that you take my broken body And commit it to the fire And then when the fire is finished Scrape the ashes in a tin Take them down to London’s drinking reservoirs And throw them in And then specks infinitesimal of my mortal remains Will slide down seven million throats and into seven million veins And I will creep through their capillaries to the marrow of their bones And they will wake to bright new mornings and then wordlessly they’ll know That I […]

Thursday

7

April 2011

27

COMMENTS

Friday

14

January 2011

26

COMMENTS

When the World Breaks Your Heart

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

I think that tragedy shows us something about our hearts. This week, our family lost a dearly loved one. I grieved for my husband’s broken heart at the loss of his lifelong role model. I looked on as embraces turned to tears. I laughed at wonderful memories retold and cried at the sorrow they renewed. And I see that the hearts most filled with love bear the heaviest burdens. Last week, an ill person in Arizona targeted a politician, and 20 people were injured or killed in his rampage. Pointed fingers jabbed across party lines, and vitriolic voices screamed to […]

Thursday

23

December 2010

9

COMMENTS

When a Baby Means War

Written by , Posted in faith, Uncategorized

It’s the time of year when I’m forced to think of Jesus not as a grown man dying on a Roman cross or as an intercessor pleading my sorry case at the heavenly throne but as a newborn. Images and stories and songs of His birth make me ask, “What does it mean that He was a baby?” I have seen a culture’s answer. That He was a baby– and held fast in time in our minds as that baby– means He is safe and sweet and pure. It means He is holdable, manageable, tame. Even many of my non-Christian […]

Thursday

16

December 2010

5

COMMENTS

You Are Not Alone

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

I’ve only just begun it, but I can already tell you: Writing about depression is hard. Writing about my faltering faith, my personality defects, my physical flaws, my parenting struggles– that’s easy. That’s stuff everyone goes through; I know I’m not alone. But Depression is a sinister demon, and it’s a damn good liar, and it loves to whisper, “You’re all alone.” I am thrilled to be guest posting at Big Mama’s Blog today as a part of her “Not Alone” Series. Please CLICK HERE to read the rest of my story!

Monday

25

October 2010

13

COMMENTS

We Sing Hope

Written by , Posted in faith, life, Uncategorized

I spoke with a couple of my friends at church yesterday, one who lost her mother and another who lost her pregnancy. I don’t know either of these pains, so I’m reluctant to try to touch them with clumsy hands. But I love these friends, and so I want to get close, even if I don’t know what to do when I get there. It’s been a few months since L. lost her mother, and it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind when I saw her. So I asked the casual, “How are you?”, not thinking. But L. is […]