Tamára Lunardo

Author & Editor



May 2014



You Can’t Find God

Written by , Posted in faith, life

Where is God? Let me tell you something right off and save you from my own futile experience: You can’t find God.

You can’t find God because God isn’t hiding. God is in the truth because God is the truth.

You can’t find God– but you can meet God. And if that’s what you want, then you have to go meet God the most honest way you can. Because the God who is Truth does not live among lies.

So go meet God as your most honest you.

If for you that’s in writing, God is there. If it’s in woodworking, God is there. If it’s at the beach, God is there. If it’s in a little chapel, God is there. If it’s in relationship, God is there. If it’s in solitude, God is there.

Wherever and however you are most honestly you, that is where and how you will most clearly see the honest-to-goodness God.


I’m working out these thoughts for Book 2 and would love to hear from you.

Have you ever felt you needed to find God? What has held you back from meeting God? How have you met God when you’ve been most yourself?

  • http://intelligentanderuditejew.blogspot.co.uk/ Hannah

    Hi Tamara,

    I wanted (&sometimes still do) to scream at him and ask him why I never got a chance to meet my mum and dad, why life was being taken as it was being given. What do they think of me? My life? My choices? My relationships ? I think I most meet G-d through living, the attempts to be kind, to not let my ‘inner bitch’ come out too much, trying to do and not to do… & friends and family. The centre of the Jewish religion isn’t the Synagogue, but the home & every Friday night we begin our Shabbat (Sabbath) which is like a weekly Christmas day. We light candles, break bread and drink wine over prayers, sing , eat discuss the Torah, debate & reflect over the week together,often till the early hours of the morning (especially as one of my brothers is now living with us!). With being myself and being open about being gay and having a relationship, has transformed the dynamic of how I feel .My brother David said to me what is more important is how we all act in the world, rather than what we say we believe.I know God understands all of this because I just have that sense of shalom. Shalom means peace in Hebrew, but it is also a deeper concept of completeness and wholeness For the first time in a very long time I’m beginning to feel happy. I don’t know if that will last, because life is life. Good and bad. But G-d’s love is eternal (Psalm 136).

    That’s what I like about G-d.

    • http://intelligentanderuditejew.blogspot.co.uk/ Shmu’el

      Hey Hannah,

      I’ve often wondered about a lot of this as well, I’ve got no doubt that Mum and Dad would be proud of you and support you in everything you’ve done including your relationship. Thanks for sharing. And hopefully we’ll get answers on the other stuff one day when we leave this world for Gan Eden.

  • Dan McM

    Hmmm…. I’m thinking…. will have a more in depth comment soon.

    (By the way, this is me being true to myself…. I’m a notorious procrastinator.)

    • Dan McM

      Your point about God meeting us where we are is very Psalm 139-ish and very true. God makes a point of meeting us where we are, and it does seem that being honest about who we are is one of the first steps we have to take if we’re going to meet God.

      In my experience (and in what I’ve observed with others), one of the biggest things that holds us back from meeting God is a fear of rejection: we tend to think that my “sins” are too big, my junk is too ugly, if I get too close he’ll turn me away. The reality though is that the opposite is true – no sin is too big, no junk too ugly, and God will never turn us away if we approach him with honesty (true to yourself) and humility. We just have a hard time… a very hard time…. believing that God really does love us.

      My best example of needing to meet God and being myself is from a time back in college. I was the son of an alcoholic who swore not to drink and became an alcoholic too, I was on the verge of getting kicked out of school (but didn’t), but the biggest issue was that I felt like a worthless, lonely loser. I went back to church when a friend invited me, and not surprisingly, it was the times of music and singing that had the biggest impact on me. We’d be singing a song about God’s love (“oh let the Son of God enfold you with his mercy and his love….”) and I’d have a thought like “yeah right, there’s no way God loves me like that”, and all of a sudden I’d feel God’s presence like my soul was being wrapped in a warm blanket (“Let him have your heart and satisfy your soul”). If I objected, “really? you don’t really love me like that, do you?”, the feeling of warmth and God’s presence would intensify as if God was saying, “yeah… I do” (“oh let him have the things that hold you, and his mercy like a dove will descend upon your life and make you whole.”) And the feeling would intensify even more.

      God used those times of singing worship music to let me know that, yes, he really did love me. That had the biggest impact of anything I’ve encountered before or since, and I’ve seen and heard some great things. But it started with me being honest before God (and using a medium, music, that is very much a part of me). Even though that honesty meant being honest about feeling worthless and unlovable, God met me there anyway.

    • Dan McM

      As an aside, the whole issue I noted in the other comment (folks fearing rejection from God) plays a big part in how my understanding has changed on other issues. I’ve mentioned to you before that I still have one foot on “Side A” and one foot on “Side B” using Justin Lee’s terminology, but the biggest reason I’m leaning towards Side A is that everyone, and I do mean everyone, needs to know that God loves them. That should be primary, before telling people what is wrong with them (as if that is ever our job), we should make sure that they understand that they are loved. Without love, we’re nothing but a banging gong, whether we are “right” or not.

  • http://intelligentanderuditejew.blogspot.co.uk/ Hannah

    Hi Tamara,
    After my post here yesterday, I thought some more. So I took up the suggestion of “So go meet God as your most honest you” . I took up that suggestion and wrote him a letter today. Wonder if he’ll ever reply & how.

  • http://intelligentanderuditejew.blogspot.co.uk/ Shmu’el

    To respond to my weekly dose of the Tamara coffee shot-

    “God is all around us” –

    Psalm 139 – “Where shall I go from your spirit ? Where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, behold you are there! If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall your hand lead me your right hand shall hold me”

    “In writing, God is there”

    Ana nafshi ketavit yehavit -” I have invested my very essence in writing” [Torah or Bible as you’d call it] .
    “What has held you back from meeting God? ”

    Idiots who say God or Jesus or whoever has spoken to them, but in turn act like utter dicks, say we are hell bound sinners etc (of whatever religion). I got burned via a partner who was into the evangelist christianity. Never again!

    Hope this helps- whether you agree or not- in your musings for your next book!

  • http://intelligentanderuditejew.blogspot.co.uk/ Shmu’el

    Oh, forgot to add “How have you met God when you’ve been most yourself?”
    When I was living with my brother, after my failed relationship, I spent a lot of time looking after my nieces and nephews and one of my nephews is disabled. So he can’t say my name – it is is pronounced -Sha- Moo- El, or in English Samuel, but he says “Shoom” . He’s a great fella and I think God sees me as “Shoom” as I’m a bit of a chaotic ‘whirlwind’ in real life. So yeah, God is like in the little things in live as well as the great.

  • http://www.makingthemostofme.blogspot.com Tessa

    I found God.

    21st March 2001

    I got baptised with the Holy Ghost

    4th September 2001

    I have not gotten anything that compares with this
    He is the peak.

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